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your mama's soo fat jokes
Yo momma so fat she fell in love
and broke it.
Yo momma so fat she fell
and made the Grand Canyon!
Yo momma so fat she eats
Wheat Thicks.
Yo momma so fat she can't
reach her back pocket.
Yo momma so fat she broke
her leg, and gravy poured out!
Yo momma so fat she accidentally
got a 747 caught in her teeth!
Yo momma so fat sets off
car alarms when she runs.!
Yo momma so fat people
jog around her for exercise!
Yo momma so fat every
time she turns round its her birthday
Yo momma so fat NASA has
to orbit a satellite around her!
Yo momma so fat I had
to take a train and two buses just to get on the b!tch's good side!
Yo momma so fat her nickname
is DAMN !
Yo momma so fat her neck
looks like a pair of hot dogs!
Yo momma so fat her legs
is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!
Yo momma so fat God couldn't
light Earth till she moved!
Yo momma so fat every
time she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!
Yo momma so fat even her
clothes have stretch marks!
Yo momma so fat even Bill
Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!
Yo momma so fat you have
to roll over twice to get off her...
Yo momma so fat and stupid,
her waist size is larger than her IQ!!!
Yo momma so fat she puts her
belt on with a boomerang!!!
Yo momma so fat her farts
are 100 on the richter scale!!!
Yo momma so fat her dress size
is equator!!!
SICK JOKES
why do ethiopians have
big heads?
to stop them falling down
grids!!!
why cant you cook a cabbage?
because you cant fit the
wheelchair
in the pan!!!
what do you call a deaf
man?
anything you want. - he
cant hear you!!!
how can you get 10,000
ethiopians into
a telephone box?
make them think you put
a free meal
voucher in there!!!
how do you get
them all out again?
stand outside waving it
infront
of them!!!
THE ODD SQUAD GUIDE TO
POO.
1. THE FIRE BALL:
hot
and painful
may singe bottom
hairs!
2.
THE VEGGIE:
looks and smells
just like a veggie
burger!
3.
THE SWEETCORN:
most colourful
and attractive!
4.
THE STICKY:
sticks to hairs
requires hours
of wiping!
5.
THE CHOP OFF:
poo is stopped
half way due to
phone ringing
ect!
6.
THE STEAMY HEAPY:
will never flush!
7.
THE JAGGY:
caused by eating
too many crisps
may result in
surgery!
8. THE FIREHOSE: (as experienced
personally by andy doran lol - see staff page.)
mainly water
based. creates
huge mess!
9. THE POPPETS:
comes
out like
machine gun
bullets!
10.
THE BLIP:
small causes
big splash!
11.
THE SLIPPY:
slips out in
one swift
movement
requires no
wiping!
12.
THE CROQUETTES:
crispy on the
outside with a
light puffy
centre!
13.
THE STINKER:
reeks so bad
that even u
dont recognise
the smell!
14.
THE NEVER ENDING STORY:
an amazing
achievement.
may need to
stand to
accomplish
full length!
how to clean the cat.
Thoroughly
clean the toilet.
Add the required amount of
shampoo to the toilet water,
and have both lids lifted.
Obtain
the cat and soothe
him while you carry him
towards the bathroom.
In one smooth movement,
put the cat in
the toilet and
close both lids (you may need
to stand on the lid so that
he cannot escape).
Flush the toilet
three
or four times.
Have someone open the door
to the outside and ensure that
there are no people between
the
toilet and the outside door.
Stand behind the toilet as far
as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
The now-clean
cat will rocket out
of the toilet, and run outside
where he will dry himself.
Sincerely, The DOG
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