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sing a
song of anal $ex,
an a$$ full of cum.
4 and 20 fat c0cks,
forced up yer bum.
when the orgy's over,
and yer
bum begins to sting.
wasnt it a bad idea,
to take it up the ring!!
mary
had a little lamb, her dad chopped off its
head. she took the lamb to school the next day,
between two slices of bread!!!
jack
and jill went to the dairy, jack pulled out
summet big and hairy. jill said coarr what a whopper,
lets get down and
do it proper.!!!
when
i was a little girl i had a little quim,
and so i sat upon my bed and put one finger in.
now i am a woman full of grace
and charm.
i can get four fingers in,
- and half my friggin arm!!!
mary
had a little lamb, she tied it to a pilon.
10,000 vaults went up its ar$e, and now its wool
is nylon!!!
mary
had a little lamb, its wool was white as
snow. and everywhere that mary went, the
lamb was sure to go. he thaught he'd
try his luck
one night, and followed her to bed, frightened -
mary shot the lamb, and now its wool is red!!!
georgie
porgie puddin and pie,
kiss the girls and made them cry.
when the boys came out to play,
he kissed them too;
cause
he was that way!!!
old
mother hubbord went to the
cupboard,
to fetch her poor doggy a bone.
when she got there,
the cupboard was bare;
so
he gave her a bone of his own!!!
humpty
dumpty sat on the bed,
while little miss muffet was giving him head.
as soon as he came she started to weep,
coz
then he f*cked off to little bo peep!!!
im
a little mouse called keith,
i circumsize men with my teeth.
its not for the leisure,
or sexual pleasure;
but
just for the cheese underneath!!!
jack and jill went up the hill,
to have some hanky panky,
silly jill forgot her pill,
and now they got little frenky
ADULT JOKES
how many mice does it take to screw in a
light bulb?
2. but dont ask
how they got in there!
a man and a woman who owned a $ex
shop
decide to go for a holiday. they left their
daughter incharge while they went away.
next day the daughter opened up the shop and
an asian woman walked in an
asked for a 5 inch
dildo. the daughter says ''sure, thats £5 please''
so the woman baught the dildo. the next day she
opened up the sahop again and an english woman
walked in and asked for a 10 inch dildo. the
daughter says ''sure
that will be £10 please''
so the woman baught the dildo. the next day she
opened the shop again. a big black scottish
woman walks in and asks for a 15 inch tarton
dildo. the daughter says ''sure that will be £15
please'' the the woman
baught.
the day after that, the man and woman came
back from the holiday and asked their daughter
how she went
on in the shop. ''fine'' she replies
''monday i sold a 5" dildo, and tuesday i sold a 10"
dildo. - oh yeah, and yesterday
i sold your flask
for £15!
to twins aged 5yrs old just woke up in the
morning. one of them says ''right i think
its
about time we started swearing''
''cool'' says the other twin ''great! when we go
downstairs, you say $hit and
ill say b!tch''
they both go downstairs and sit at the table
and their mum says ''what do you want for breakfast?''
the
first twin replies ''i want cheerios b!tch!''
*WACK* she slaps the 1st twin and he goes flying
across the room. the
second twin watches in
amazment and says ''$hit! im not gonna ask for cheerios''
what is the first sign of madness?? having hairs
on the palm of your hands.
whats is the second sign of madness??
looking for them!!
there was a married couple and there
$ex life suddenly went non-existant.
no
matter how much they tried they
could not have $ex. they decided to
see a marriage expert. the expert
told them
to make it into a house hold
chore. so they went home and tried it
that night. they went to bed and the
man said
to his wife, ''can i put my
washing in your washing machine?''
his wife replied ''yes'' so they tried
it and it worked.
they did this for
the next 6 nights. then the 7th night
the man was gagging for it and said
to his wife, ''can
i put my washing
in your washing machine?'' his wife
wasnt in the mood so she replied,
''sorry, its not ready yet.''
she
then went to sleep. she woke up a few
hours later and she was gagging for it
she woke her husband and said,
''ok
my love, the washing machine is ready
now.'' ''no thanks'' he replied, ''i
did it by hand''!
there was a cop on a horse
walking
down the street. he comes
across a boy on a push bike. smiling,
the cop says "thats a nice bike, did
santa bring
that for you?"
"he sure did." replied the boy.
the cop then writes out a ticket
and says while handing it to the
boy,
"next time tell santa to
put a lisence on the back."
smiling, the boy says to the cop,
"thats a nice horse, did santa
bring
that for you?" "he sure
did." replied the cop. the
boy then says "next time tell
santa put put the d!ck on the
bottom
instead of the top." !!
what do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
a-lick-a-lot-a-puss
whats pink and has a slit down the middle?
a grapefriut
hats the difference between a woman and a cow?
a cow can stand up to
her t!ts in water and not get her pu$sy wet
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